第0023章 我又多想了么(2 / 2)

大唐男保姆 孝孝公子 1376 字 2022-04-03

程咬金心中慨叹道:“自愧不如啊,自愧不如!集合老夫一辈子的学问都不如这孩子刚才的一句话顶用。都说文人辞藻过于华丽,却不实用,但捧起人来,却是能捧杀死人,不带血渍的。”

小黄门说完,身后的侍从将赏赐之物捧了上来。

倪土期待已久的马鞭不知道到底什么模样。

一个侍从笑着说到:“文林郎,请接圣上赐予的宝物吧。”

倪土搓着双手,笑道:“好!好!宝物,宝物!我这就来……”

一揭开黄色的绸缎,倪土赫然发现方形案板上只有一条牛皮制的马鞭子。

“这就是所谓的马鞭?”

“文林郎,你以为呢?”那位宣旨的小黄门笑着质问到。

“我,本就以为这是一条打马的鞭子啊。果真,哈哈,哈哈……弼马温当有此宝物!绝配!绝配啊!”

“弼马温?文林郎真是学识渊博,这是什么管职?当朝貌似没有,难道是前朝的?一个主管什么的官?多大的品阶啊?”

“仙人之职,就是闲职了呗!”

“哈哈,好一个闲职。弼马温,听着像是养马的官儿呢,正适合文林郎的身份,妙啊!妙啊!”

“呵呵……”倪土皮笑肉不笑,却逗笑了小黄门身后的侍从们。

此时,贾二捧着一小盘银两,来到小黄门面前,恭敬地说到:“尹公公,这是一点风餐露宿费,还望笑纳。”

“呵呵,卢国公有心了!”小黄门这番说话的时候手儿一挥,身后便有侍从上前接了过去。

握着马鞭,望着程政高兴地当即束发戴冠,貌似是中了状元一样,高兴地就差载歌载舞了。

程咬金也是,依旧那么趴在床板上。

“你这演技可以拿奥斯卡小金人奖了!”倪土冷哼一句便捏着马鞭出离了营帐。

论遭奚落,当然是自己了。自己辛辛苦苦忙碌一番,旁人不是黄金马褂,就是银龙冠的,唯独赏给自己的是一条马鞭?

“他不是不知道这些都是我倪土鼓捣的,卢国公的奏章里写得明明白白的。”对于程咬金不居功这一点,倪土还是颇为敬佩的。

“他既然知道我倪土有这等才华,还是他当年亲自封赏的探花郎,应该立即马上把我召进宫拜为丞相才对,没想到,竟然赏赐一条马鞭。”

“你李治的意思,是说我顶多配当个弼马温?多大的才能只能够养养马,铲铲马粪?”

“好你个李治!论羞辱人的艺术,你才是顶尖级的专家!”倪土攥紧了马鞭把柄,奋力扬起胳膊,朝着空中劈了出去。

似乎那对面便是李治。

“啪!”

清脆又响亮的声音撕开了冷空气,将一阵虎啸风声呼唤起来。

“呼……”

风大起,雪花飘。

仰头望着纷纷落下来的雪花,倪土有一种错觉,自己似乎正处在一个摄影棚内,自己的一鞭子抽响了,便有道具师洒下白雪来。

只是这白雪太真实了。

“这什么道具啊,分明就是真雪!这马鞭不亏是圣上赐下的宝物啊!一鞭子就让天地有了感应?”

“天人感应?再来!”

“啪!”

响声过后,纷纷扬扬而下的白色晶体陡然变为大雪。

“哈哈,这哪里是什么马鞭,而是御赐圣物啊!卢国公有尚方宝剑,我倪土有尚方宝鞭,上可抽王抽妃,下可抽昏臣士子。尔等纨绔,尽情颤抖吧!”

“哈哈,好鞭!好鞭!”

倪土的快乐就是这么简单!

旁人却不这么看。

身后远处的士兵互相吐吐舌头,说道:“文林郎得了马鞭后气疯了!”

“读书人遭此羞辱,谁都会疯癫至此啊。”

“兄弟们,可喜可贺啊,这等奇事儿难得一见!”

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