第七十六章蕙质兰心(2 / 2)

长风渡 暧昧因子 0 字 2021-09-12

事实上,她确实不喜欢自称‘贱妾’!

“小小,听五哥说,你很会讲笑话是吗?”这厢,殷小小才谢过上官太后,那边若雪公主就笑嘻嘻的开了口。

殷小小眨巴眨巴眼睛,心中有种毛毛的感觉。君若雪是公主,是君陌引的皇妹,就算她只是君陌引的妾,够不上被称作皇嫂的级别,那君若雪至少也该唤她一句‘殷夫人’才对吧?

讪讪的咧咧唇,殷小小尴尬的回答道:“回公主话……”

“哎呦,你叫我若雪就可以,什么公主啊?母后刚刚说了,咱们在外游玩儿不必守那些庸俗的规矩啦!”殷小小的话被君若雪打断。

君若雪比殷小小小一岁,芳龄十五,正是调皮叛逆的年纪呢!

殷小小听到君若雪这样说了,心中想着既然大家都如此洒脱,她也应该尽早适应才是,便笑着唤了声,“嗯,若……若雪!”

君若雪含笑点头,“对嘛!这样多好。”

顿了顿,又催促道:“小小给我和母后讲两个笑话听听呗!不然闷死人啦!”

殷小小嘴角抽了抽,“讲……讲笑话?可是……”

君陌绍见殷小小支支吾吾的,就拍了一下她的肩,鼓励道:“可是什么呀?你讲笑话可逗乐了,上次你讲的那个蚂蚁和大象的笑话,我给母后和若雪讲,她们都说有意思呢!赶紧再讲几个,我也想听。”

原来,殷小小与君陌绍做朋友的那段时间,经常在北厢房里胡侃大山。有时候说起灵魂召唤,五行八卦,有时候说起各种趣事,互相逗乐。殷小小那时候给君陌绍讲过一组网络上流行的蚂蚁大象笑话,可把君陌绍乐坏了,逢人就讲!

殷小小目光看向上官太后,见她确实一副好奇想听的样子,这才大着胆子,清清嗓眼儿缓缓讲述起来。

为了能让上官太后听明白些,殷小小讲笑话的时候将一些现代术语全部去除了——

“话说蛇,蚂蚁,蜘蛛,蜈蚣几个小动物一起去澡堂洗澡,大家脱了衣服泡在水中后觉得无聊,就想买点吃的打牙祭。

蛇说:‘我没脚,我不去,让蚂蚁去。’

蚂蚁说:‘蜘蛛八只脚,比我的多,让蜘蛛去。’

蜘蛛听到,指着全身都是脚的蜈蚣说:‘我的脚再多那也比不过蜈蚣大哥呀,还是让蜈蚣大哥去吧。’

蜈蚣很无奈,心中想着:‘哎,没办法,谁让我的脚确实很多呢?’

就这样,蜈蚣爬出水池去买吃的。一个时辰后,大家不见蜈蚣回来。两个时辰后,大家还不见蜈蚣买吃的回来。于是蛇和蚂蚁就让蜘蛛出去看看,哪知蜘蛛一出门就看见蜈蚣在门口坐着。

蜘蛛看到坐在澡堂门外的蜈蚣很生气,怒问道:‘蜈蚣大哥你怎么还不去买吃的呀?大家都等着呢!’

蜈蚣见蜘蛛急眼了,也急了,语气不爽的回答道:‘废话!你以为我不想去买吃的啊,总得等我穿好鞋才能去吧’?”

殷小小讲完了,发现没有人笑。好吧,她承认自己讲了一个爆冷的笑话。

“啊哈哈!果然有意思!”正当殷小小在心中鄙视自己讲笑话的爆冷程度时,上官太后与君若雪先后爆笑出声。绝对是爆笑那样子,丝毫不矜持!

殷小小恶寒,真的……好笑吗?目光看了眼对面坐着的欧阳明玄,但见对方挥着羽扇风轻云淡的样子,明显在诉说着‘不好笑’三个字。

呼,就知道不好笑,欧阳明玄笑点够低的了都没笑,她讲笑话的水平退化了,吼吼……

“小小,再讲一个听听,太有意思了!”君若雪催促出声。

殷小小听到君若雪的催促声,有种泪奔的感觉。她认为君若雪一定是活的太古板太迂腐了,就这样一个普通的没有神马喜感的笑话,都能把她笑成这样子,真是强悍啊!

不过,就算是冷笑话,只要有人肯捧场,殷小小也是十分乐意继续讲下去滴,总比干巴巴的坐在马车里闷着强多了是吧?

歪着头,殷小小想了想,继续讲述道:“一个农夫,带着自己的宠物狗拉着几只小猪准备到县城贩卖。中途遇到一个小娘子拦车,想让农夫载她一程进县城。那农夫见小娘子长的漂亮,便色心大起同意了。

途中农夫很不老实,一只手挥鞭驾车,一只手总是朝那个小娘子腿上乱摸。那小娘子大怒斥责,农夫就恶狠狠的威胁道:‘你让不让大爷摸?不让摸就滚下去。’

那小娘子听到,当即跳下车。车夫怒气冲冲无处发泄,就把一边趴着的宠物狗随手扔到车厢后面。又走了一段路,车夫忽然发现后面车厢中的小猪崽子纷纷跳下车去,很奇怪。

于是,车夫就停车查看究竟。这时,后车厢中已经只剩下一只猪崽子和那只宠物狗,但听那只宠物狗愤愤的对车后箱唯一一只小猪崽子怒吼道:‘就剩你一个了,你想清楚了。你到底让不让大爷摸?不让摸就跟那些猪崽子一样滚下去。’哈哈哈!”

殷小小讲完了,自恋的先笑出声了。就算是冷笑话,这个也是冷笑话中的经典了,至少殷小小自己第一次听到的时候笑翻了。

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