143【爱情论】(1 / 2)

重生野性时代 王梓钧 1321 字 2022-04-26

付钱,下车。

司机师傅也不急着把车开走,优哉游哉点起一根香烟,递名片给宋维扬说:“小伙子,以后坐车可以给我打电话,片子上有我的传呼号码。事先说好,远了不接,离得近我才接活。”

宋维扬收起名片,笑问:“师傅,你在京城混过?很能侃啊。”

“我没去过京城,”司机说,“但我去过北大荒。那里一到冬天就冻死人,烤火猫冬没事儿干,就指着队里的几个京城知青侃大山解闷儿。那几个孙子,是真能侃,有一个家里还是说相声的。我当时被他们带坏了,说话都成了京片子,这毛病现在都没彻底改过来。”

“那您走好,回见啊。”宋维扬挥手道。

“哟,听您这口音,也是京儿里来的?”司机张口就来,递烟道,“忘了发烟,来一根呗。”

宋维扬笑道:“我祖上八代就在京城混,祖爷爷那辈儿还是御医呢,一不小心把慈禧给治死了,吓得全家老小赶紧逃命,直接去南方投奔了革命党。”

“这慈禧老妖婆原来是你祖爷爷治死的,历史悬案啊!这你得跟我好好聊聊!”司机居然熄火不走了。

宋维扬也不着急,点烟道:“据我祖爷爷说啊,慈禧有糖尿病!”

“你太爷爷应该是中医吧,中医也有糖尿病的说法?”司机问道。

“当时搞不清楚,所以治死了啊。”宋维扬说。

司机连忙问道:“那后来怎么知道是糖尿病的?”

宋维扬道:“后来宫里的御用物品流传到民间,有个富商买了慈禧的夜壶,搞不清真假,就请我太爷爷去鉴定。我太爷爷一看就知道是慈禧用过的!当时迷信啊,以为慈禧用过的东西带着龙凤之气,可以治病。有个傻子真信了,偷那夜壶泡茶喝,泡出来的茶水居然是甜的!我太爷爷听说这事儿,当时就扼腕叹息:老佛爷这是得了糖尿病啊!”

“噗嗤!”

林卓韵忍不住笑出声来,拍打宋维扬的肩头说:“你恶不恶心啊,满嘴胡说八道。”

司机也回过神来,乐道:“小伙子,你太爷爷恐怕不是御医,是给慈禧说相声的吧?”

“嘿,你们还不信,”宋维扬感叹,“这年头,一个个都喜欢听假话,真话都被当成假话了。什么世道啊!再这样下去,中国能不落后吗?你们就是国家落后的罪人,是要背负历史责任的。”

司机重新发动汽车,踩离合挂挡,挥手道:“小伙子,改天我把家里的夜壶拿来,让你也给我尝尝味道,用你的家传医学给我诊断诊断。”

“滚!”宋维扬踹了脚车屁股。

“哈哈哈!”司机大笑离去。

林卓韵忍俊不禁,脸上带着笑意说:“你这是闲得没事干吧?逮谁都能吹牛。”

“真没吹牛,慈禧也确实有糖尿病。”宋维扬说。

“别说了,还夜壶泡茶喝,一想起就恶心。”林卓韵抱着肩头往前走。

宋维扬脱下外套给她披上:“走吧,我送你回宿舍。”

“你不冷吗?”林卓韵把外套抓住。

“我火气旺,扛得住。”宋维扬道。

林卓韵挨着他慢慢踱步,冰冷的双手感受着外套温度,突然说:“其实你这人挺好的,就是有时候太贫了,满嘴瞎话,感觉特不靠谱。”

宋维扬道:“鲁迅先生曾经说过,要用幽默来对抗残酷的现实。幽默你懂吗?”

林卓韵突然停下,歪头看他:“《鲁迅全集》我高中就看完了,怎么不记得他有说过这句话?”

“是吗?那我记错了,应该是萧伯纳说的。”宋维扬笑道。

林卓韵居然点头认可:“萧伯纳确实喜欢幽默,这句话应该是他说的。”

“就是嘛,萧伯纳的名言太多了,一时记不清也很正常。”宋维扬道。

林卓韵说:“萧伯纳的有一句名言我记得很清楚:青春是一阵偶尔吹过的风,不经意间,已吹得我泪流满面。”

“他肯定有沙眼。”宋维扬评价。

林卓韵翻起白眼:“我还有白内障呢!能不能好好说话了。”

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