一年有感——来自读者混沌wjy(1 / 1)

扶风歌 蟹的心 0 字 2021-05-19

读扶风歌有将近一年了,伴着陆道明一步步地发展壮大,看到了螃蟹的努力和成长。纵然中间有过诸如更新不稳定,某些章节没写太好的问题,本文依旧算得上网络小说中的高质量作品了。当然这也依赖于螃蟹写作手法的成熟,对文字驾驭和情节起伏节奏的把控。当然,有些人说的拖沓,在某些地方还是有的,不过已经好多了。相比大多数网文,还算不上。主要是由于螃蟹单章字数少,所以显得很慢。对于节奏和详略,我觉得有一篇很早之前的网文《我和我的女人们》就把控得很好(:一开始看还以为是h文,其实,自己看看吧)。

然后说说情节,这时应该是307年的春夏之交了吧,此时司马睿就快到建业了,而王导以琅琊王氏的力量为之谋。对于这位未来的皇帝,不知陆道明会采取什么态度,若没有把握完全制止永嘉之难(就小说而言,道明还需要整合休养生息,控制一下难情即可,何况,安度永嘉年朝就没意思了),还是若即若离有机会结识一下就好。而司马越的身体,以及集团的能力,都比得上王导王敦所支持的琅琊王。当然,司马越也要控制西晋政府到311年的,有道明这个鹰扬将军,怕是能多活一段时间。

对于刘琨,前面伏笔已埋了好多,又有根本理念的不同,加上外人(不止徐润,还有司马越的分权制衡和外敌离间)挑拨,定是要有所冲突。而刘坤集团的衰落也将不可避免,特别是刘琨对于鲜卑旳倚重。和陆道明的利益会有明显冲突。刘琨败落之后,是要全盘接受刘琨的势力范围吗,我觉得不可能。怕是和其他势力要有相互妥协,稳扎稳打吧。毕竟自己内部并不稳定,一方面也经不起一直打仗的消耗,士气维持不易,而内部派系杂乱,相互的冲突是不可避免的。

再次是王浚和石勒,之所以放在一起,是因为接下来两年,石两次被王所打败(历史上),可见王浚其强,而此时历史已经变化,王浚败北,代郡归陆道明,王浚怕是要要蛰伏一段时间了。从地理位置上,和石勒交手的将是陆遥。但陆遥真的能轻易化解石勒攻势吗,怕是要下一番功夫了。

接下来说刘聪,单独说石勒,是因为其后来发达了,而此时,他还要依靠于刘聪。308年的进攻,应是刘聪据太行,而石勒东下赵魏。此次进攻刘聪得到王弥起义、鲜卑等势力的投靠,可谓声势强大。当然,他注定是个失败的角色。所以,我等正义事业前路虽光明,道途实曲折。

此外还有还有鲜卑事情未了,我们拭目以待,但毕竟,宜禄当不了代公了吧。

总之大的历史主线就两条,汉人内部矛盾和汉族与外敌的矛盾。怎样处理这些矛盾,必须依照时代条件,当然,也要由螃蟹给陆道明的定位决定了。至于当时九品中正制基础上的士族政治,以及士族控制的大庄园农业,更甚者,是否改变以奢侈、清谈为上的社会价值观。想要自立,这些也要考虑了,乱世也不是能单靠军事得到一切的,能较为妥善的安排天下人,才能巩固势力。而两晋的衰退,也不完全是一个傻瓜皇帝所能造成的。

说到小说吗,感情线也是要有的,要不就成“西晋小军主的突击史”了(没有女人的成功作品,怕就此一例吧)。还有个建议,不妨在小说里加个偶尔能插科打诨的浑人。加强一点戏剧性,也好在一定时候控制节奏和气氛。

最后,祝扶风歌更新稳定,保质保量。祝螃蟹早日成神。

感谢混沌jy同学的支持和鼓励,我会努力:)

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