第三十三章孤城(1 / 2)

丧夫 地府神君 0 字 2021-05-08

中午王伯当不回来,所以郭小小便放弃了自己做饭的打算,一个人窝在家里。趴在阳台上,研究了会养的那几盆花草,因为天气的原因,郭小小除了必要的通风,基本上不怎么开窗。两卧两厅对于郭小小她们来说,实在有些大也有些奢侈,可王伯当并不打算把另一间卧室租出去。每当郭小小无限心痛的看着那间空荡荡的卧室时,王伯当总是笑的温暖的,像冬日的阳光:“搬家总是不容易!如果嫌浪费,那你生个小宝宝,到时专门弄间婴儿房就好了呀!”每每听王伯当这么说时,郭小小脑海中就浮现出,哭的声嘶力竭的小婴儿的形象,想想郭小小就只打冷战!忙摇了摇头:“不要!我才不要小孩子呢!整天就知道哭啊哭的…”这样说着时,猛然想起前次失去的那个小胎儿,不,准确的说是胚胎,郭小小心里还是有些小小的伤感。一抬头便见王伯当,也是一脸的肃穆。郭小小便小心的靠了过去,王伯当揽着郭小小的肩头:“总会好的!”郭小小抬起头,一脸的犹豫:“如果有了孩子就更不方便出去工作了!要不,我们晚几年再生小孩?”王伯当双眼无神的看着天花板:“我们有一部分同学打算考研了,有一部分同学回去考单位了,既然结婚了,有小孩是早晚的事,何况…你现在一个人呆在家里,我怕你闷出病来,有个小孩,你就不会想那么多了。”郭小小听王伯当这么说的时候,心里还是挺甜蜜的,把脸尽量的贴在王伯当的胸前。她,郭小小好像也没有什么宏图大志,也没有什么强烈的事业心,只要能守着自己的一份幸福,能有份工作,有个爱自己的老公,她郭小小便觉得自己像是拥有了全世界!

可郭小小不擅交际,也不是没有玩的很好的朋友,只是不知道为什么,那些年的那些人,走着走着便散了,到最后,等到郭小小发现的时候,竟然就剩下自己一个人,守着心里的那一方孤城。

别人很难进的来,郭小小被关在自己的孤城里,也很难出的去。不是不孤单,有时郭小小不知怎的,便觉得自己心里空的发慌。这样感觉着的时候,郭小小不自觉的就想起了,台湾作家三毛的稻草人。郭小小便觉的饿,很想拿什么东西吃到嘴角,填进心里。

只有王伯当,为了一个人,失去了一个世界,这值得吗?有声音突然这样问,郭小小不确定,这声音是不是来自自己的内心。可是失去王伯当的日子,郭小小也并没有感受到温暖,反而是更多的无尽的空虚。一个个夜晚,只有郭小小对着手机屏幕时,把自己的心融入到,那一段段文字时,心才不那么慌,那种寒才不至于让郭小小凝结成霜!

郭小小时常感到自己,是不是已经老态龙钟了,是不是就跟不上这个时代了,是这个世界抛弃了自己,还是自己抛弃了这个世界?

那间卧室还在空着,有一天它肯定能跟郭小小的心一样,变的满满当当。趴在阳台上,看着楼下小区的过道,道路两旁分割着一块块小小的绿化地,虽无大美之境,但看着也让人很是心动。有年老的人,带着小孩,推着小车不时的在小区里进进出出,遇到熟人时,便站住了亲切的聊上两句,无论什么人,都会带着满满的笑意,掀开那小推车的顶子,看看里面躺着的小婴儿,逗弄一番,然后再站住聊上一会。郭小小便突然觉得,有小孩是也许并不会太坏!

转身坐到餐桌前,郭小小给自己下了袋泡面,还奢侈的加了个鸡蛋。一边吃着面,一边看着手机,在上面寻找着招聘信息,招聘的地方还真多,可郭小小怎么就高兴不起开,兴奋不起来呢?郭小小不敢登录微信,也不敢登录qq,可是这样就真的让自己觉得安全了吗?郭小小扯起嘴角笑了笑,想起那座城市,自己像个逃兵似的,急急的从那里落荒而逃,远远的躲到这里,不敢露出自己的行迹,这样就真的安全了吗?

很快,郭小小便意识到了,自己的幼稚,这是什么年代了?自己在害怕什么?在躲避什么?想着时,郭小小便鬼使神差的登录上了微信号!郭小小按捺住自己狂乱的心跳,盯着手机屏幕,只有宋艳丽!原来自己原本就是无足轻重,只是自己错误的估计了自己的份量,错误的看待了自己和别人的关系。郭小小惨笑两声,心里无限的落寞。

翻开信息。

“小小!你是不是又跟王伯当在一起了!?”

“怎么给你打电话你不接?发微信你不回?!”

“你要气死妈妈吗?!你怎么就不能好好的听话!?”

“你这样,你回来!安安心心的在家找份工作,有合适再找个人家结婚了,留在妈妈身边,将来妈妈还指望你呢!”

“小小!你到底怎么了?手机也停机了!?你真是气死我了!你爸爸突然又提出跟我复婚,你们父女两个是要把妈妈折腾死吗?”

“小小,你到底在哪?给妈妈回个电话好吗?”

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