第145章 自己主持国庆特别节目(十)讲笑话(1 / 2)

下面我的讲的笑话,我认为挺搞笑的,讲给大家听,先从排名第十开始讲起:

昨天中午有个男同事外出,没把手机带走,他老婆不停地打电话来。午睡的女同事被吵烦了,拿过手机大吼:“我们在睡觉,你烦不烦!”结果,那位男同事今天到现在都没来上班!(笑声音效)

完了,我觉得这个男同事这个时间,应该是在医院待着呢吧,或者自己忙着正在搬家,哈哈(笑声音效)这是排名第十的笑话。

接下来,排名第九的笑话,下午肚子饿,看见同事桌上有瓶酸奶,想都没想就喝了,一会同事来了大叫到:“我的洗面奶怎么不见了!108块啊!”哥没说话,只是默默的走向厕所,一顿抠嗓子,老难受了,把东西拼命的吐,直到吐出酸水,好不容易吐的差不多了,眼泪叭嚓滴回到座位上时,同事抱着一个瓶子说:“吓死我了,洗面奶滚到桌子下了,我的酸奶怎么又不见了呢。”哥心里直骂:你奶奶个熊滴,喝你点酸奶,把人往死里整。

就是啊,不就是喝一瓶酸奶吗?你说说你至于吗?至于吗?(笑声音效)

接下来分享第八名的笑话,有位大爷去一家大银行取钱,直接走到窗口,保安过来说:“大爷,按号。”大爷:“啥?”保安:“按号。”大爷心想,不愧是大银行呀,取个钱还要暗号,于是低声对保安说:“天王盖地虎。”保安奈的帮老爷子按出一张排队票,老爷子心想:吓死我了,居然被我蒙对了!

此时此刻我多么想接一句,宝塔镇河妖(笑声音效)

接下来第七名笑话,一漂亮女同事,她老公给她送午饭,没说话放下就走了。新来的男同事问:刚才那是谁啊?她回答:送外卖的。新来又问:怎么没给钱?她说:不用给,晚上陪他睡一觉就好了。男同事沉默了,第二天,给她带了四菜一汤的午饭,整个办公室轰然大笑……

我觉得吧,这个哥们想太多了,还有,你这思想可不咋滴啊,满脑子想什么呢?(笑声音效)。

一段比一段搞笑,接下来第六名的笑话又是什么呢?让我们共同来欣赏吧!有一孩子问妈妈:当年你为什么嫁给爸爸呀?

妈妈说:“当年妈眼睛瞎了,才嫁给你爸!”

孩子又问爸爸:咱家怎么这么穷啊?

爸爸说:“咱们家的钱都给你妈治眼睛了!”

我觉得这位爸爸没说啊哈哈(笑声音效)

第五名笑话,来了,饭店里人特别多,一对年轻情侣实在找不到地方了,就和我拼桌,坐在我对面。说实话那女的长得真挺漂亮,我就多看了两眼,结果被那个男的发现了,他啪嚓一下往桌子上放了一个大众的车钥匙想吓我,我仔细一看,我去,辉腾……我啪嚓往桌子上放了个玛莎拉蒂的车钥匙,啪嚓,啪嚓,布加迪、劳斯莱斯,好几个车钥匙我都摔桌子上了,那男的领着女的灰溜溜的走了……真是的,你跟我一个配钥匙的装什么装!

就是就是,跟谁俩呢?(笑声音效)

接下来是排名第四的笑话了,到银行汇款,车临时停路边上,为了怕交警罚就把朋友留下看车,跟他说有查车的过来了告诉我一声。进去几分钟果然有交警来了,那个朋友风风火火地闯进银行大声吼到:大哥,警察来了,快走啊!尼玛,偌大的一个大厅几十号人,顷刻间寂静声,然后人潮像洪水一样涌出银行,接着我就被五六个保安按在了地上……真他妈冤!不怕神一样的对手,就怕猪一样的队友!

哈哈,知道的是看着交警呢?不知道的以为抢银行呢?这不怪保安把你按在地上,这也真的就像案发现场啊。(笑声音效)

来了,来了,前三名的笑话,它们来了,第三名

(1)今天下大雪,刚才出门见一大爷摔倒了,我过去问道:大爷,我一月工资不到2000块钱,能扶您起来么?大爷:小伙子,你走吧,我再等一会儿。我:好勒!天气虽冷,大爷的话却是暖暖的,满满的都是正能量……

(2)走在路上看到大爷躺在地上,我赶紧上去要扶,大爷看了看我说:后生你别动,看你也是个打工的,你走吧我再等等。我被感动了赶紧说:大爷,有个开路虎的停好车就快过来了。大爷也激动了:你这后生还算实在,你干脆别走了给我做个证人,完事儿也买个车上班开。

(3)走在路上看到个大爷躺在地上,我赶紧上陪大爷躺下,大爷看了看我说:后生你别跟我抢,我儿子要买房娶媳妇。我说:我也要买房娶媳妇啊,但我不啃老。大爷说:后生有志气,这地给你了,我换个地儿!

唉,我想怎么说呢?其实这个笑话反应很多当今社会现象,希望大家不要跟这个笑话里的老人和小伙学习,这是个误的行为哦,此时此刻我想说,城管呢?城管,也有人在道上乱摆摊(笑声音效)。

接下来亚军笑话它来了,

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