第二十六章 从前有个太监(2 / 2)

明传万里 往日如风 1761 字 2022-07-21

赵彦笑了笑,这才说起了正文:“刘兄,在下突然想起一个笑话,愿意与刘兄分享。”

刘全有平日里吃饱喝足了没事干,就喜欢听些家长里短的事情,然后自己加些料再四处去传播,此时闻言眼睛一亮,问道:“不知是什么笑话?独乐乐不如众乐乐,赵兄也讲出来让小弟听听。”

“咳咳……”赵彦清清嗓子,说道:“话说从前有一个太监……”

刘全有兴致勃勃的等了半天,却不见赵彦说下去,遂开口问道:“下面呢?”

赵彦等的就是这句话,闻言语带笑意的道:“没了。”

没了?这算什么笑话。刘全有捏着自己下巴上的三层褶,想了片刻后突然放声大笑,一边笑一边赞道:“赵兄……你……你这个笑话真是绝了,哈哈哈,真是太好笑了,仅凭这个笑话我就能笑上三天……”

看着小胖子夸张的表情,赵彦颇有些无语,暗道莫非古代人民的精神生活太匮乏,导致连笑点都这么低?

好不容易止住笑容,小胖子刘全有揉了揉肚子,伸手取过桌上的茶盏灌了两口,之后才开口说道:“赵兄这个笑话真是前无古人后无来者,不过独乐乐不如众乐乐,小弟先失陪了。”

刘全有喜爱热闹,交游广阔,只见他站起身四下一打量,便扎到不远处正聊天打屁的一堆人中,对其中一名中年大汉叫道:“柳四叔,咱们城里的新鲜事你听说没?”

那柳四叔正听人讲夜窥寡妇洗澡的事,哈喇子都快流出来了,闻言不耐烦道:“听说了,听说了,不就是那孙……是天阉吗,听说连他的闺女都是别人的种儿,他还有龙阳、分桃之类的嗜好,真是够恶心的。大侄子,叔这儿有事,你和别人说去吧。”

“别啊四叔,侄儿这儿有一个笑话,保准你没听过。”小胖子锲而不舍的说道:“听好了,从前有一个太监……”

那柳四叔想着赶紧打发小胖子走人,谁知道他说了一句就没下文了,不由催促道:“下面呢?”

“下面没有了。”小胖子说完自己倒先乐了。

“没有了就赶紧回家去,你娘说不定正找……”柳四叔说到一半突然反应过来,伸手指点着小胖子,哈哈大笑道:“这个太监该不会就是那位孙……员外吧?”

四周的人闻言纷纷大乐,有人还下意识向二楼看了看,玩笑道:“那位孙员外正在二楼陪知府老爷吃饭呢,若是等他下来后看到四哥你这精壮模样,晚上说不定就摸到你房里,让你陪他唱一出月夜后*庭花呢。”

那柳四叔闻言也不动怒,作势踢了那人一脚,笑道:“他要是敢摸到老子房里,老子就把他给绑了,然后扔到猪圈里去,再赶几头发情的公猪进去,让他一次乐个够。”

两个人的对话声颇大,整个一楼大厅中都能听见,其他人不明所以,好奇心驱使下打听了一番,得知事情始末后,俱都大笑出声。

孙长庚卖相虽好,名声却并不好,单凭他当初坑王业的那件事便能看出其秉性如何,不过孙家财雄势大,倒也没人敢当面斥责,不过除非是血浓于水的亲族,否则其他人都尽量不与其打交道,所以此时倒也无人为其出头。

众人正自大笑,就听二楼有人笑呵呵问道:“诸位这是在笑什么?不知可否说与本官,让本官也与民同乐一番。”

呃……众人仰头望去,就见韩文、闵政,以及县里多名缙绅豪商,一行人正站在二楼楼梯口,含笑看着下面大厅中的众人,那话题中的主角孙长庚赫然位列其中,且浑然不知自己已经成了笑话,犹自一副笑吟吟的面孔。

等了片刻,下面众人眼观鼻鼻观心,却是没有一人开口。

站在闵知县身后的一员老者见状,怕无人应答让新任知府韩文失了颜面,便指着下面的中年大汉说道:“柳老四,方才你的笑声最响亮,你来说。”

那柳老四闻言暗自叫了声苦,他脑筋转的也不算慢,如今宫里大太监王振大权独揽、营私舞弊、卖官鬻爵、大肆收受贿赂,连皇上都称他先生,公卿大臣都叫其翁父,锦衣卫、东厂对其都是俯首帖耳,甘心充当其爪牙耳目。

这衡水也算是地处京师近畿,一楼大厅中说不定就有混进来的番子密探,也不知自己等人方才听了那太监的笑话后大声嘲笑,算不算是犯了忌讳,此时这韩知府又来凑热闹,自己的姑父还指名道姓让自己说,这得罪人的事怎么都让自己给赶上了。

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